Super-Abridged Bible: Exodus

Chapters 1-10 (slavery, Moses, plagues)

A generation passes. Israelite population grows until they’re a large minority. A new Pharaoh arises and is afraid of the Israelite numbers. He ruthlessly enslaves the Israelites but the population keeps growing. He orders the Hebrew midwives to kill all newborn boys, but they make excuses instead. So, he orders the whole nation to kill all Israelite boys.

A Levite couple has a boy. The mother puts him in a basket and sends him down the Nile to save him from being killed. It drifts to Pharaoh’s household. Pharoah’s daughter realises it’s an Israelite boy, takes pity on him, names him Moses and raises him in Pharaoh’s household. One day when he’s a grown man, he goes out and sees an Egyptian beating an Israelite slave. He kills the Egyptian and buries him in the sand. However, this only makes him hated by Israelites: when he wants to stop a quarrel they bitterly ask him whether he plans to kill them too. Realising the manslaughter is known, Moses flees to Midian. Moses meets the daughters of Jethro the priest at a well. Jethro gives his daughter Tziporah to him as a wife, they have a son.

The Israelites cry out to YHWH who decides to fulfill the prophecy to Abraham (that he’ll rescue them from slavery). He appears to Moses in a bush that burns but doesn’t get consumed. YHWH tells Moses he has chosen to lead the Israelites out of Egypt and back to Canaan, taking all of Canaan from its inhabitants. Moses is too shy and refuses. YHWH says he will back him. Moses refuses. YHWH gives him two signs of YHWH’s power: a staff that turns into a snake when thrown on the ground (and back) and Moses’ hand turning to leprosy when he put in his tunic (and back). Moses refuses saying he’s afraid of public speaking. YHWH, sick of arguing, tells him his brother Aaron (who’s still in Egypt) can speak if needed.

On the way to Egypt, YHWH stands across the way to kill them (evidently because Moses hasn’t circumcised his son). Tzipporah circumcises him and the shade passes. They get to Egypt, meet Aaron and Moses instructs him. Aaron repeats YHWH’s prophecy to the Israelites, who believe him.

Moses asks Pharaoh that the Israelites be allowed to go out of Egypt for 3 days to sacrifice to YHWH in the desert. Pharaoh refuses, and asks the taskmasters to make Israelite slave life even worse, now making them gather straw for bricks themselves. The Israelites complain to Pharaoh who blames Moses. Moses becomes discouraged so YHWH recounts the covenant and tells him this is only YHWH hardening Pharaoh’s heart so that he can make him suffer more in the end.

After more coaxing from YHWH, Moses goes to Pharaoh and does the staff-snake trick. Pharaoh’s magicians do the same but Moses’s snake eats their snakes. Pharaoh still refuses. Moses appears when Pharaoh is bathing in the Nile and warns of the first plague: YHWH will turn the Nile into blood. The plague happens. The next plague is frogs covering all of Egypt. Pharaoh asks Moses to pray to YHWH to stop the plague, which he does — but when he has relief Pharaoh refuses again. The next plague is a swarm of insects. (All the plagues are miracles that spare the Israelites. For instance here, the swarm covers all of Egypt except the region of Goshen where the Israelites leave). Pharaoh offers to let them sacrifice to YHWH just without leaving Egypt. Moses refuses. Pharaoh accepts the original request but when the plague is over changes his mind.

The next plague is cattle pestilence, then a plague of boils, then a storm of hail (with fire inside each hailstone). Pharaoh relents but changes his mind once more. The next plague is locusts. Pharaoh’s advisors implore him to give in, but when he finds out Moses means for even the children to go, he refuses. The locusts are so bad, he promises to let them go when it’s over but when it is, changes his mind again. The next plague is a thick darkness that stops people from being able to move. By now Pharaoh is willing to let everyone go, just to leave their flocks behind. Moses refuses and Pharaoh gets angry and tells him to never show his face at the palace again.

Chapters 11-18: (last plague, exodus, crossing Red Sea)

YHWH tells Moses about the last plague: the death of all Egyptian firstborn sons (including firstborn cattle). The plague’s date is going to be the start of the new Israelite calendar. The Israelites are requested a sign of faith: in order to protect their house from the plague they need to sacrifice a lamb and smear its blood on the door, then eating the whole thing. They cannot eat leavened bread or have it in their house for 1 week. This festival (ie. Passover) is to be celebrated every year as a rememberance. The Israelites follow the instructions and are spared. There’s a great cry over Egypt: every household has someone die. The Egyptian crowds beg the Israelites to get out to end it all. Which they do, but not before “borrowing” gold and valuables from the Egyptians (as reparations for 430 years of slavery). YHWH gives the law that every firstborn cattle is to be sacrificed to YHWH, and for children they are to be redeemed from service to YHWH with a symbolic donation.

The Israelites (600,000 men of age + families) travel through the desert being led by YHWH’s pillar of cloud by day and pillar of fire by night. They reach the Red Sea[?]. YHWH isn’t happy about how little Egyptian ass he’s kicked. He tells Moses he’ll harden Pharaoh’s heart one last time so he’ll pursue them in order for YHWH to show off a little more. Pharaoh chases the Israelites down with a chariot army. The Israelites get scared and say they prefer to go back to slavery than being killed. YHWH tells Moses to calm them down, lead them into the sea and life his staff. Moses does this and YHWH splits the sea so they can walk through it. The Egyptians follow them. When all Israelites have crossed, YHWH tells him to lower his staff. The sea collapses again, drowning Pharaoh’s entire army. The Israelites sing a song of praise to YHWH for killing both the Egyptian soldiers AND their horses.

They go on through the desert. The people complain to Moses, that at least they weren’t hungry as slaves, whereas he brought them to the desert to starve. YHWH answers by sending them quail, and then raining a daily portion of manna (a flaky snow-like substance). They’re told to gather it daily and leave none overnight. Some do and it becomes maggoty, which pisses off Moses. On Friday they’re told to gather a double portion, since YHWH won’t send any on the Sabbath. Some don’t and go out on the Sabbath to see if they can find some, which pisses off Moses. They continue to a place with no water and the people complain. Moses complains to YHWH about the Israelites but YHWH tells him to strike a rock with his staff. Water comes out of the rock. The nation of Amalek attacks Israel. Israel wins the battle with YHWH’s help and YHWH pronounces an eternal curse against Amalek.

Moses’ father-in-law Jethro hears about the exodus and comes from Midian, bringing Moses’ wife and sons (even though there’s a story above about how they all came to Egypt?). Moses spends all day as a judge, solving the people’s disputes. Jethro says this will wear him out and convinces him to set up a hierarchy of judges so there’s a chain of command. Moses is grateful, and Jethro returns home.

Chapters 19-24: (Sinai revelation, 10 commandments, civil laws)

They reach Mt Sinai and YHWH tells them through Moses that he (YHWH) will appear in a thick cloud so all the nation can witness him. YHWH sets up a 3 day preparatory period (for purification). YHWH appears amongst pomp and circumstance and speaks the [first version of] the 10 commandments which you probably know. The people are afraid of YHWH’s voice and ask that he continue speaking through Moses only.

YHWH goes on with some civil laws. Slavery: a Hebrew slave is set free after 6 years but he doesn’t want to leave (eg. if you give him a family), you can drive a nail through his ear and keep him forever. The laws controlling how a father can sell his daughter into slavery if he’s unable to pay his debts.

Personal injury: Death penalty for premeditated fatal injury, striking/insulting parents, kidnapping. If victim survives for a few days, the assailant is no longer liable if victim dies. If you disable your slave through brutalisation you must set them free.

Negligence: if an ox is considered dangerous and through the owner’s negligence gores someone (excluding slaves), both the ox and the owner are put to death. Other cases result in fines.

Theft: a man stealing pays 2-5 fold restitution to owner depending on circumstances and what was stolen. Restitution required if your animal grazes on another’s field, if you start a fire and it damages someone’s property, if you are in charge of safe-keeping an item and it becomes stolen/damaged (if you have no evidence of the accident).

A man who seduces a virgin must pay the bride-price, even if his father refuses to let her marry him. Death for sorcery+bestiality+sacrificing to another god. Don’t mistreat strangers (ie. non-Jews living in Israel under Torah law), widows, orphans. Loans to Israelites must be interest-free. If you take a pledge from a poor borrower and he needs it overnight (eg. a cloak to keep warm), give it back for the night. No eating meat torn off a living animal.

No false rumours, false testimony, bribes. Return an enemy’s animal and help it if you see it in trouble. Every 7th year, no harvesting of any fields — leave them growing so the poor can take from them. The Sabbath needs to be observed by everyone: cattle and slaves also get a break. There are 3 festivals a year where everyone needs to appear before YHWH: Passover, Shavuot, Sukkot. Bring YHWH your first fruits. Don’t boil a kid in its mother’s milk.

YHWH tells the people that if they don’t follow other gods they will easily conquer Canaan and defeat the 7 Canaanite nations. YHWH will help out by giving the nations pestilence, plagues etc. Israelites are not to make a convenant with these nations. The Israelites agree to all these laws. Moses ascends the mountain to get stone tablets from YHWH with these laws (it seems to be talking about all the laws so far, not just the 10 commandments). Moses stays up there for 40 days.

Chapters 25-31 (construction plans for Ark+priesthood implements)

YHWH orders the collection of precious materials from the people to build the Ark of the Covenant that will house the stone tablets. The construction details are given in great tedium. The Ark is overlaid with gold and sits on poles, with 2 cherubim over the top. There is also a table for the most holy sacrifices and a menorah to accompany them. The Ark is to sit in the Tabernacle, a kind of tent of cloth covers, held up by planks. There is also an altar for sacrifices. Finally, the whole contraption sits in another enclosure. All of these are made to be disassembled, carried across the desert and reassembled.

YHWH sets up Aaron (Moses’ brother) as the first high priest and describes his ceremonial clothes: the breastpiece, the ephod (a set of 12 stones corresponding to the 12 tribes of Israel worn near the breastplate), a robe, tunic and sash, all highly decorated. The sacrifices for annointing a new priest (ie. Aaron at first, then other priests): a bull and two rams. [The sacrifice procedure is very similar to other sacrifices described in Leviticus -- I'll give a very condensed treatment there.] YHWH also wants a daily sacrifice of 2 lambs from now until eternity. The making of the ceremonial incense, oils, washing basin, spices. YHWH chooses craftsmen to begin all the work and tells them to still keep the Sabbath while they’re working. The procedure for a census is mandated too: everyone gives a half-shekel coin and the coins are to be counted.

Chapters 32-40 (Golden Calf, second tablets, building the Ark)

YHWH gives Moses the 2 tablets of the covenant. However, because Moses remains on the mountain so long, the people decide to make an idol. Aaron suggests they melt down gold and use it to make a calf. They offer sacrifices to it, saying it brought them out of Egypt. YHWH tells Moses to hurry down, and even wants to destroy the nation and start afresh with Moses. Moses reminds YHWH of his covenant with Abraham. He also warns that if YHWH kills everyone, other nations will say YHWH only brought Israel out of Egypt to kill them. This placates YHWH.

Moses comes down and sees the calf being worshipped. Enraged, he smashes the tablets. He is angry at Aaron. Aaron lies, saying the people made him make the calf and he was afraid for his life. Moses decides the only way forward is to cull some people (the most unruly who are likely to rebel?). The Levites volunteer and at Moses’ command slay “brother, neighbour, kin”, a total of 3000 people. Moses goes back up the mountain and prays to YHWH to forgive the Israelites. YHWH considers it, until then he also strikes them with a plague. Moses asks to see YHWH’s presence: YHWH lets him see his back but not his face as its radiance will kill Moses.

Moses carves 2 replacement tablets and YHWH writes the covenant on them again. YHWH reviews the terms of the covenant, this time with different laws (but all which have already been repeated above). Moses comes down with the new tablets. His face is radiant from seeing YHWH’s presence so he must now wear a veil when he appears before the people.

The Ark is constructed. This means the previous chapters giving the construction plans are now repeated, this time saying that it was actually done (by such and such) — so nothing new at all there. The tablets are placed in the Ark and the Ark in the Tabernacle. YHWH’s presence rests over it as the Israelites begin their journey through the desert.