Recent Milestones in Spam History

I can't help but be awed at the ingenuity shown by composers of spam in the last 2 years. No longer is it just bland Viagra emails with the occassional 419 (Nigerian scam). These creative geniuses have found ways of capitalising on the following: (These quote/paraphrase actual emails I've received. If you have other examples please comment!)

1. Logic: I have successfully spammed you. Therefore I can successfully spam others. Therefore you should use my services to [successfully] spam others on your behalf.
2. Civic Duty: This is your friendly bank. Did you know most emails from banks are actually phishing attempts? Well if you click here and submit your details we'll be on our way to stopping these monsters!
3. Fear: Your Google Adwords account has been suspended since billing has failed. Click here to update your details and your ads will be up in no time. (Anyone who's used Adwords knows the everpresent fear of the Overlords switching off your business most Suddenly and Unilaterally -- of all items on this list it's probably been the most successful and fiendishly evil).
4. Work Ethic: "Re: Monday's report." (This is your boss speaking. This email is about work. Therefore it's about your work. Therefore this link is very important for you. Therefore click here.)
5. Internet-Based Laziness: Clicking to download porn will only be a waste of your valuable time. For your convenience, we've embedded fellatio or penis enlargement images in the body of an email itself! And who said spam isn't customer-focussed?
6. Appreciation for Mixed Metaphors: Take any 2 common spam topics and combine (eg: expired website + get your phd online = expired academic qualification). Recipient will be so relieved at the breath of fresh air, they're bound to take the offer. .
7. High culture: From a recent email: "the next day between karna and arjuna. o selfborn one, say". I'm meant to have such love for the Bhagavad Gita (I think that's where it's from) that I'll buy from the spammer on principle.
8. Compassion: Every major calamity or disaster is followed by a barrage of spam emails getting you to click on their "story", eg. thousands more dead in Szechuan. Of course some of these are simply out of the box in a less-malicious way. Here's a subject line from today: "Beijing Olympics cancelled, moved to Atlanta".

Those in innovation, technology and science need to pay attention to spam. Not just to stop it but for great ideas.

And I wouldn't trumpet the end of the world just yet. People may decry cynicism but one advantage of a cynical population is they are less likely to get bamboozled. The spammers will lose since internet users are becoming jaded at an exponential rate. In fact, the internet may just be the thing that gives us the critical thinking we need to pull ourselves into the next Enlightenment. But more on that later...